she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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