y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize