I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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