You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
