I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
