You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
