NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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