Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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