So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
