That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
