you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
