he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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