whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
