so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
