Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
