We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Drunk is not a location!
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
