all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
