there's paper in my vomit.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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