There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
