I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
