Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
