Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
