Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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