So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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