Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
