I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize