I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
