sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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