is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
you traded sex for a burrito?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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