watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
