Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I think I sprained my soul last night
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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