my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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