That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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