C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
