Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
