I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
