Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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