all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
