i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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