Do vagina's smell?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
