This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Another day, another engagement, another cat
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
