I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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