Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
