in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize