I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
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