You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize