Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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