party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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