You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
