I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
