i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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