I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
