I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I will be naked everywhere
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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