i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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