i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
