The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
