Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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