So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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