i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
