while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
