I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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