I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize