Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
You can't special order awesome
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Randomize
