You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize