we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize