TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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