Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize