Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
