I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
