I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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