butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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