its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
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