just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
