So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I wish there were birth control emojis
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
