he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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