If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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