My sheets look like a crime scene.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
