ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
bring money and cleavage
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
